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Is this that life-altering moment after so much efforts and time spent to get over him?

Truest truth! he’s not a keeper.

As hurtful as it is to let the feelings and memories go, I MUST.

Its not worth it. Less than 5% of all the memories really are truly sincere. The rest is fake.

I hate him. Maybe.. Even now, that kind of feeling is still a privilege for him.

I think after this, I will be totally oblivious to anything about him, I feel it in my belly. I even not sure now, whether still I include him in my prayer every after Salat as usual or not? hagz..

Even if I am tearing up as I write this down, its because I pity myself for being such an idiot.

Nooo, I am not regretting what had happened between us. Its just.. it hurts more, when I know that I disappointed myself. That what I’ve been doing is so far from lady-like.

(From this line onwards, I am not crying anymore)

Thank God I talk to his friends. Now its all clear. Truths unfold.

I still have little pity feeling towards him tho, that he must be watched over. That he is a child with all the restless-ness, timid, egoistic spoiled jerk and he doesnt know what kind of wound it will caused to people around him, and eventually karma to himself.

But don’t tell me I never told him. I’ve tried. And now its not my business anymore. Well, maybe it was never been my business from the very beginning and never meant to be.

Gosh I feel like unfriend him on Facebook and unfollow him on Twitter now. Hahaha… I will! (#brb unfollow him on Twitter)

Done! and I am smiling while doing it.. 🙂

I dont think Whitney Houston “I Will Always Love You” will comply here. He never open his heart to be loved. He hasnt meet that woman yet. I WILL NOT love him again after this. Its just that. It was deep… really deep.. if not, it would not be this hurt.

I fell in love with a total jerk. And I feel that love. And eventhough for the shortest time period possible, I was loved. I also know now how to love someone because of someone. It was a great lesson and I thank you and Allah for that. I was happy.. Never been happier with someone else. It was the happiest moment of my 22 years of life. Even if its only the idiotic happiness, but I WAS happy.

Maybe I will fell that disgust feeling towards meself if I remember what we’ve been through.. But its just a phase. 

Now I must dressed up and prepare myself to meet my Mr. President 🙂

So long, farewell.. and.. Good bye!


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